Be prepared, bloggers! The Poplar Creek Community is invited to read, discuss and comment on your essay!
Congratulations on completing your researched-based evidence essay! Copy and paste your final draft to publish and celebrate your hard work.
Be prepared, bloggers! The Poplar Creek Community is invited to read, discuss and comment on your essay!
DANNO!
4/8/2014 04:05:52 am
THE CHOCOLATE MILK DEBATE
Sally
4/8/2014 09:05:02 am
Very good points, however, I would prefer if you would get your energy from high protein foods and fruit and vegetables. The negative characteristics of the sugar in the chocolate milk outweighs the benefits of the nutrients. Would you be willing to take a challenge and drink only white milk for the rest of the school year?
Nick Waters
4/11/2014 02:12:39 am
My favorite part was your first sentence. You put your reader in a perspective situation. Great introduction DANNO!
Danielle
4/11/2014 02:21:17 am
Dan, my favorite part was, how you put a lot of reasons with evidence. I like this because when I read the part where you said,even though chocolate milk has a lot of sugar in it like a candy bar it is still filled with lots of nutrients. But, what are some things that could happen if you drink too much chocolate milk?
JACOB GADEK
4/8/2014 04:07:18 am
The Chocolate Milk Debate
Joey White
4/11/2014 02:15:21 am
Jacob
Marek Stenglein
4/11/2014 02:23:50 am
I noticed you introduction was intresting and made me want to read more on chocolate milk not being healthy.
Katy Blair
4/8/2014 04:07:27 am
Say No to Chocolate Milk at Schools
Nick Waters
4/11/2014 02:21:08 am
I said the same to Dan. I absolutely love your "walking into school and not seeing any chocolate milk" perspective situation sentence. Great job Katy!
billy45
4/11/2014 02:24:59 am
katy
erin lucchesi
4/11/2014 02:25:10 am
I agree with you when you said "some sugestions for a healthier chocolate milk is to mix it with white milk or only 2 teaspoons of sweetener. I was wondering were are you conter claims but I like your eessay
Maisha
4/14/2014 07:34:31 am
Katy, I liked how you said where you got your evidence from.
Megan church:)
4/8/2014 04:07:32 am
NO More Chocolate Milk!
Madeline TImmers
4/11/2014 02:20:35 am
Megan, I loved your essay and all of your evidence! But, you may consider adding counterclaims in more of your paragraphs than just the conclusion. I noticed that the new insight about having a healthy life and eating right really made your essay and claim stronger.
Dominic the great
4/8/2014 04:07:40 am
Chocolate milk, should it be in your school?
JACOBBBBBBBB GADEKKKKKKKK
4/11/2014 02:20:58 am
hey Dominic, I think you should consider by changing the introduction a little. Because it looks like that you put some of your reasons in the introduction. Or, it could mean you have a lot of reasons. Good job on showing quotes of people's pint of view. Keep the work up and have a great Spring break.
Anthony Rehbein
4/8/2014 04:07:58 am
Chocolate Milk in Schools???
Lisa
4/8/2014 10:37:56 am
Some very good points. I believe that you need to make healthy choices in what you eat on a daily basis. Maybe one glass of chocolate milk would be okay, IF you didn't have other sweets throughout the day. As you get older you start to realize how a healthy diet will make you feel better than eating junk food.
dominic
4/11/2014 02:12:45 am
Ii like that you did the farmer's and buisness owner's point of view and not just the student's. i also think that you did an incredible job on the conclusion where you said how much you wiegh and that you drink chocolate milk.
A-town (Alyssa)
4/8/2014 04:08:18 am
One day you walk into the lunch room, surprisingly you look in the milk bin and there is no more Chocolate milk you finally say “yay no more chocolate milk!” I guess nobody will get overweight. There are now schools banding chocolate milk because of how unhealthy it is. Chocolate milk should be band because it contains 30 grams of sugar and is causing American children to be overweight and it takes up 80% of schools flavored milk. Keep Reading to learn more about chocolate milk being band!
Maisha
4/11/2014 11:18:54 am
Alyssa, I noticed that you put exclamation marks in your essay to make it more exciting to read.
Danielle
4/8/2014 04:08:47 am
Emily
4/11/2014 02:16:46 am
my favroite part was your intro is because you spoke your mind and you told use all thinks you learned and as you go on the strongest part was all the eveadince in your reason one two and three! i also noiced that you used alot of strong sentance starters like i belive or this proves and that made your essay even stronger. i also liked how you add two sided of the debate in your essay!
maisha
4/11/2014 02:18:06 am
Danielle, my favorite part was when your header told me if you are with chocolate milk or if you are against chocolate milk, also I noticed you added reasons why you think that chocolate milk should be banned from schools.
Anthony the BOSS
4/11/2014 02:19:33 am
Danielle, my favorite part was when you set up the little skit were I had to think why they took chocolate milk out of our schools, but now you might conciser adding a counter claim in the intro
Emily whitehill
4/8/2014 04:08:58 am
The true fact about choclate milk!
Lizzy Hulak
4/11/2014 02:17:33 am
Emily, my favorite part of your essay was your evedence. You made your evedence very clear and not just say chocolate milk is bad for you and you can over weight and chocolate milk has alot of sugar in one carton. Your claim in your introduction is clear and i know that your aganst chocolate milk and your not just saying random things about chocolate milk.
mayra
4/11/2014 02:24:43 am
Emily I liked how you digged deeper in you introduction and what i mean by that is that you said "imagain you walking in the hot lunch line and kids are taking white milk! would you take white or would you take chocolate".
Rasmeen Kaur
4/17/2014 07:12:36 am
Emily, I Like your introduction because it is strong and i also like how you dig dipper in your introduction,it really mean that you didn't said chocolate milk is bad. good job in your essay.
Lizzy Hulak
4/8/2014 04:09:04 am
Con for Chocolate Milk
Ian Herpel
4/11/2014 02:25:29 am
Lizzy, I learned that 70% of the milk drank in schools is flavored.
mayra
4/15/2014 05:14:17 am
Lizzy I liked how you suporited your evidence with strong details
NICK WATERS
4/8/2014 04:09:19 am
DANNO! :-)
4/11/2014 02:13:01 am
I agree that kids like chocolate milk and that's bad, but have you considered that it has LOTS of nutrients, vitamins, and calcium?
rasmeen
4/8/2014 04:09:43 am
Against Chocolate Milk
Emily!!
4/11/2014 02:24:00 am
i loved how you put all the causes choclaet milk can lead up to and u did an amzaing job on all the sentace starers but i consiter thats u add some more good stuff in choclate milk and some of the strong senctance starters form the note cards! other then that congrats you did a really good job! keep up the great work!
zack busse
4/8/2014 04:10:22 am
dominic
4/11/2014 02:16:46 am
I enjoyed the fact that you included exact information. also what you would do if there was no more chocolate milk. this tells me that kids wont drink much milk at all if chocolate milk was gone.
Marek Stenglein
4/11/2014 02:17:16 am
I learned fat free milk fills nearly 60% of the 1,000,000 cartons served each year from your essay.
Joey White
4/11/2014 02:21:34 am
Zach
Veeraj
4/11/2014 02:24:20 am
Zack, I really liked your essay but one hint I have for you is that you should put in a counterclaim in your essay. However you should consider to put a little more detail in your essay so that it would make it a little more interesting for your reader. I really liked your essay!!!
Maisha Islam
4/8/2014 04:11:02 am
Chocolate Milk Should Not Be Served In Schools
Ian Herpel
4/11/2014 02:23:08 am
Maisha, I noticed that using strong counter claims made your essay a lot stronger because it shows that you know what your talking about. I learned that an 8 ounce cartyon of chocolate milk has 4 teaspoons of extra sugar from your essay.
Anthony the BOSS
4/11/2014 02:25:37 am
Misha, i liked the fact of how much added sugar is in the drink and showed us how much it was in calibrators you might conifer adding a good counter claim
Rasmeen
4/17/2014 07:27:19 am
Maisha, I learned that 29 grams of sugar and about 160 to 170 calories
Madeline Timmers
4/8/2014 04:11:13 am
Chocolate School Milk Catastrophe
Anna Mack
4/11/2014 02:05:58 am
Madeline, your essay is really well written, and I thank you for sharing with the Poplar Creek community. I noticed your counterclaims writing technique really make your essay stronger because you address the other side of the debate. However, have you considered adding a counterclaim about obesity rates and exercise in your introduction to draw readers further into the essay?
zack
4/11/2014 02:19:02 am
At first I thought that chcolate milk was healthy but after reading your article I realized that maybe chocolate is not so healthy. my favorite part was the introdution it really grabbed me in and I wanted to read more.I agree with you but have you considered that kids might be overweight from soda or juice?
Ian Herpel
4/8/2014 04:13:23 am
+ Chocolate Milk +
Jordan quiles
4/11/2014 02:16:30 am
my favorite part was when you said that chocolate milk can be a big part of your diet.i learned that chocolate milk is very important to kids diet.
billy45
4/11/2014 02:17:51 am
Ian
Maisha
4/11/2014 11:05:24 am
Ian, I learned there is 17 to 67 counties that are serving chocolate milk with less sugar and fat and I noticed that you used transitional words to make your essay stronger.
Veeraj Luthra
4/8/2014 04:14:27 am
Chocolate Milk .vs. Regular Milk
Maisha
4/11/2014 11:10:45 am
Veeraj, I learned that chocolate milk has the same nutrients as white milk.
Marek Stenglein
4/8/2014 04:23:55 am
Chocolate Milk has too much added sugar
Lizzy Hulak
4/11/2014 02:24:20 am
I liked how you made your claim clear and powerful, but I recomened you make your evedence a little stronger. My favorite part of your essay was it looked like you used the ancercharts.
KT B.
4/11/2014 02:24:53 am
Marek my favorite part was when you noted on the fact that replacing high fructose corn syrup with other nutritional values does not reduce the sugar content i think that is a strong fact
Erin Lucchesi
4/8/2014 05:01:01 am
Chocolate milk in schools is a great idea
Veeraj
4/11/2014 02:17:39 am
Erin, I really like your essay about why chocolate milk should be served in schools, but I think you should consider that chocolate milk has a lot of added sugars, so I believe that you should put in a counterclaim in your essay about why chocolate milk has a lot of sugar but then back up your reasoning. I really liked your essay!!!
Katy B.
4/11/2014 02:18:37 am
Erin i know you worked hard on your essay but i notice the statistics are low for how much less milk kids would drink. i think adding this nearer to the percentage of the flavored milk in school would make people see how bad it would be to take out chocolate milk
Maisha
4/14/2014 07:31:36 am
Erin, I noticed that you had reasons to back up your claim and I liked your header.
Billy
4/10/2014 02:13:03 am
Ian Herpel
4/11/2014 02:14:51 am
Billy Boy, I learned that chocolate milk doesn't make peaople overweight but poor diet choices do. I noticed stong statistics made your essay stronger because it shows that your not just guessing.
Kyle B
4/10/2014 02:33:58 am
Chocolate milk should not be in schools so kids stay healthy, chocolate milk has a lot of sugar and calories and white milk does not.
JACOBBBBBBBB GADEKKKKKKKK
4/11/2014 02:14:46 am
Kyle, great job on your essay. You might consider to add counter claims to make your essay stronger. But I really like how you organized your work. It is very unique and well organized. Keep up the great work and have a good Spring break.
dominic
4/11/2014 02:19:45 am
2:I agree it is verry well organized. cudos kyle. i also like how you included information that shocks the readers. such as...
Nick Waters
4/11/2014 02:15:54 am
I loved how you clearly stated your reasons. If any reader read your article about chocolate milk being unhealthy, they would surely know why. Great job Kyle.
DANNO! :-)
4/11/2014 02:20:09 am
My favorite part was reason 2. Comments are closed.
|
Room 111Here at Poplar Creek we share our thinking and ideas to improve our learning. Archives
December 2014
Categories |